The Longest Song Wiki

Reputed to have been written by Angus Russell sometime in the last half century, though details on the writing of the song are scant, but sources agree that it is not traditional.

This song has occasion to be sung on Longest Johns livestreams.

Factoids

Jan van Riebeeck was a dutch merchant sailor who became colonial administrator of the Dutch Cape Colony of the Dutch East India Company. He is a controversial figure, once honoured with a holiday (Van Riebeeck Day) in Apartheid South Africa. His forces were directly responsible for the colonization of Cape Colony (what is now Capetown) and was a driving force of the slave trade carried out from there in the 17th century.

There are a lot of controversial details about Jan Van Riebeeck's life and history which this song doesn't begin to engage with in any way. In recent years his name has become synonymous with slavery and colonization for many South Africans.

Lyrics

These lyrics are based on the version performed by the Longest Johns in their Livestream, the original lyrics can be found here.

Oh who’s the king of the fighting Dutch?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)
Who's the man that we love so much?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)

{Chorus}
Ja, ja leave your hammocks
Ja, ja, hands on deck!
Ja, ja break your backs for
Skipper Jan Rebek!
(Varied Bek's.)

Who stole all of the tea in China
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)
and took it back to Carolina?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)

{Chorus}

Who's the man our enemies fear?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)
And who takes three baths every year?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)

{Chorus}

Who calls down thunder from the sky?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)
And who shoots lasers from his eyes?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)

{Chorus}

Who sleeps three girls every night?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)
One pink, one blue, one red and white!
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)

{Chorus}

Who swam all of the canals in Venice?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)
And who voiced Jar Jar in the Phantom Menace?
(Skipper Jan Rebek!)