"Shipping Forecast" is the closing "track" for Between Wind and Water. It contains no music, and is a parody of the BBC Radio Shipping Forecasts that have been running since 1861, and gives crucial area-specific weather information for sailors on a regular basis, including (but not limited to) pressure, visibility, wind direction, and so on.
The Johns' version uses humorous readings parodying the real ones, as well as a lot of wordplay and puns.
Lyrics
And now the Shipping Forecast, issued by the Met Office, on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency, at 1700 hours today.
North Utsire, South Utsire, Forties, Cromarty. Northwesterly 5 to 7, occasionally gale 8, backing southwesterly, and decreasing 3 for a time. Rain later. Moderate, becoming good.Humber, Shannon. Northeasterly 6. Good, growing steadily, becoming 7. Happy birthday.
Tyne, Thames, Forth. Little bit, muchly. 32 long, size 8, becoming smart later.
Dogger, Fisher, Dover. I hardly knew her.
Viking. Arriving soon, leaving later with your wife.
Fair Isle, Faeroes, Pyramid, Sphinx.
Biscay, Fastnet, Dialup, Broadband.
Lundy, Mardi, Mercredi. Plymouth? No.
German Bight. Watch out for that.
Portland, FitzRoy. Moving forward, 22 yards. Touchdown.
Irish Sea, Irish stew, Baileys, Hebrides.
Rockall, Sole. One fish, two fish. Red fish, blue fish.
Trafalgar. Rectangular, becoming square.
And finally, Longest Johns. Starting strong, 7 or 8, becoming not so poor, then good.
That was the Shipping Forecast for 1700 hours, Wednesday, 18th of August.