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Moby Duck is the tenth track on the 2020 album Cures What Ails Ya. It was written by Dave Robinson and, as such, is a Longest Johns Original.

Moby Duck tells of the brutal slaying of a noble and kind creature who never meant harm to any man.

Also featuring Lucy Humphris on trumpet. (Doot)

Lyrics

After fourteen years I left the sea, for a life upon a lake
After all the storms I'd seen, I needed a good break
I thought still waters would mean peace for me
but that was a mistake
for the place I chose was bedevilled by a giant evil drake

A mallard of such malice, twice the size of any man
A bill to give you nightmares and a monsterous wingspan
You cannot hope to fight it so avoid him if you can
That terrifying waterfoul, the beast beyond the dam

{Chorus}
Row-ho Row-ho Row with all our might,
Row with harpoons loaded and spoiling for a fight
Row-ho Row-ho and with any luck
We'll win the day and do away the dreaded moby duck

I'm not one for surrender so a vengeful oath I swore
I gathered up me hearties like so many times before
We shod our ship with weapons and prepared to go to war
'Til the fetid feathered fearsome flying duck will breathe no more

{Chorus}

There was bonnie brave Marie, who to her arms had waved goodbye
And handsome Jack whose duck-attack left him without an eye
The darby twins with one leg each on deck were standing by
Only a couple dozen limbs between a crew of twenty-five

{Chorus}

The fight raged on for several hours, defend and then attack
with beatings from those wicked wings our boat began to crack
The beast reared up to finish the job, and with a mighty quack...

(JD releases the quackin')

I rammed my harpoon in his throat and made a tasty snack

Row-ho Row-ho Row us back to shore,
we'll drag his broken body back and roast it on an oar
Row-ho Row-ho barbecue the beast, with hoisin sauce and pancakes
we will have the biggest feast

Row-ho Row-ho Row with all our might,
We rowed with harpoons loaded and spoiling for a fight
Row-ho Row-ho we had all the luck
We won the day and did away the dreaded moby duck

We won the day and did away the dreaded moby duck!

(...quack)

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