The Longest Song Wiki

Originally written by Tennessee singer-songwriter Mike Cross, in or about 1981. this somewhat bawdy ballad has become a bit of a folk staple, covered by countless folk singers.

Lyrics

These lyrics are based on the version performed by the Longest Johns in their Livestreams, the original lyrics can be found here.

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair,
And one could tell by the way he walked that he'd drunk more than his share,
He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street,

Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho!
He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Around that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman both strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho!
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho!
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth

They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show

Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho!
Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree
Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize

Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho!
O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize