Drunken Scotsman

Originally written by Tennessee singer-songwriter Mike Cross, in or about 1981. this somewhat bawdy ballad has become a bit of a folk staple, covered by countless folk singers.

Lyrics
These lyrics are based on the version performed by the Longest Johns in their Livestreams, the original lyrics can be found here.

Well a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, And one could tell by the way he walked that he'd drunk more than his share, He fumbled round until he could no longer keep his feet, Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street, Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho! He stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street Around that time two young and lovely girls just happened by And one says to the other with a twinkle in her eye See yon sleeping Scotsman both strong and handsome built I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho! I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be And lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see And there behold, for them to view, beneath his Scottish skirt Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho! Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth They marveled for a moment, then one said we must be gone Let's leave a present for our friend, before we move along As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon, tied into a bow Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho! Around the bonnie star, the Scotsman's kilt did lift and show Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled toward a tree Behind a bush, he lifts his kilt and gawks at what he sees And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize Ring-ding diddle-diddle-addie-oh ring die-diddly I oh-ho! O lad I don't know where you been but I see you won first prize